You just have to jump...

So I have finally got a plan.... Well I guess I should say I finally have a second plan. The first one didn't really work out like I wanted it to, but any ways...

I am finally headed in the direction of a career. Tomorrow I am going by the school and cancelling my spring registration because I wont need any of the classes I would have been taking. Then I'm going to get a job during the spring and summer. In the fall I am going to move out and begin a 2 year photography program!!! Starting tomorrow everything will be in motion. I already have a few good ideas for where I can get a job at, so I'm not too worried there. I just hope that I have enough money for 2 things:
1. Rent/living expenses that my family shouldn't have to pay for.
2. An upgraded camera.

It's too soon to really start looking for apartments and a roomie, so I'm sure I will be complaining about that in a few months.

About the camera... I have my eye set on a Nikon D700. I've done some research on it and it really seems like a great step up for me. Before I buy it I will definitely go to a camera store and handle one just to be certain, because it's probably going to end up costing around $3,000. But who knows! Maybe by the time that I have enough to pay for it the price will have dropped! My dad said he would help me out some in paying for it. I also have some money saved up that I could use to make a dent in the price, but I really don't want to spend all of that. The plan right now is to put away a little money for the camera each time I get paid. As motivation I printed out a picture of the camera and put it on the wall by my bed. I also plan on putting any Christmas and birthday money towards the camera. My goal is to buy it before I start the photography program.

For a while I had planned on selling my Nikon D40x, but I just can't part with that thing! It was my first legit camera, and a gift from my parents for getting into the National Honors Society. Also, it's been through so much with me! I've taken it on almost every major trip I've been on.. both trips out west, both Europe trips, NYC, Myrtle Beach, and soooo many more! Also, I think it will be good to have that camera for when I don't want to use the D700. Because sometimes it's better to have a camera that doesn't need to be handled so gently... if that makes any sense at all.

These past two or three weeks have been filled with oportunities for photographs! I did Cassie and Caroline's senior pictures and tomorrow I'm taking someone's family pictures. I am also going to be taking Christmas Card photos for my cousin and her boy friend. I think all these chances to take pictures for people has really been what gave me the confidence to jump. I have really been playing it safe, too afraid to really take a chance on something, for far too long now. As a good friend recently told me "You just have to jump." So that's what I'm doing. I'm not going to be afraid to try anymore. What happened a year ago really brought my confidence down and made me terrified of failure... but it taught me what can happen if you don't get back up and dust yourself off. I learned that you can't let failure prevent you from chasing your dreams.

I also started to play guitar again! I have trouble because my fingers are short and it's hard for me to hit certain chords, but it's been kind of theraputic to be able to strum out some basic songs. My raw fingers would beg to differ! I think the guitar has helped me also in taking this big step towards my future. I know it might sound crazy, but I feel like I was kind of forgetting who I was for a little while, and playing, taking pictures, and reconnecting with old friends, has helped me to sort of dive back into my past and remember. I think it's important to remember our past sometimes, because it can give you a good sense of where you are going. I am being very generic, but sometimes I find it a little dificult to express exactly what I am thinking. Anyways.. So I feel like I am becoming a better person. I feel very optimistic about the future. There are certain issues I'm afraid may come up, but I know that God will help me through those hard times.

I will post some of my favorites from Caroline's photo shoot in my next post.